As time passed by, however, I started to become increasingly more curious, and I started to search for the cause of these forces around me. I tried to understand what and why is happening to me, and I searched for a scientific explanation to my unusual experiences.
My initial attempts to communicate my experiences with others have then been mostly met with laughter and ridicule, and some may have even thought that I was missing a wheel. I was convinced, however, that the "forces" around me were real, and despite the ridicule, I continued to research this realm of the "paranormal". Unfortunately my research was unproductive. Back in the seventies in Romania there wasn't much literature about this subject matter. The title of one book among the few "The Wall of Silence", I vaguely recall. While this book was about UFOs, back then I did not make a connection between the flying objects around me and the extraterrestrial, despite the fact that I saw a UFO myself at that time.
As I mentioned earlier, initially my "strange" experiences
consisted mostly of flying objects, and back then I thought, that ghosts
were the primary cause of these paranormal phenomena. Now I know, that
I was searching for answers in the wrong direction. The chain of events
that started on March 3rd, 1995 and which continue to the present has shed
light on the possible source of my paranormal experiences. Starting on
March 3rd, 1995 I have been visited on numerous occasions by "visitors"
who are perhaps from another dimension, but would anybody believe me if
1 told them? These visits have not only recurred with an exact time pattern
following the Earth-Mars alignments, but also have recurred like clockwork.
While 1 cannot conclude with certainty that the earlier "forces" stirring
up the flying objects
are related to the more recent "visits," I feel that
somehow there is a link and continuity. Future chapters, consisting mainly
of my diary entries will detail these "visits," and now I would like to
relate my experiences with the hypnotherapist I contacted in hopes to find
answers to these strange events.
My acts followed my decision, and on July 30th, 1997 at 7:30 PM, my first hypnosis session started. I was a little tense, but I was very curious to find answers to all the questions I had: What is happening to me? Why are these things happening to me! I was convinced that these could not be hallucinations. I studied psychology, I consulted physicians, but no one could explain these "hallucinations" which reoccur like clockwork, accurate to exact hours, months, and years.
I was full of expectations and I was looking forward to be hypnotized. I was not afraid anymore.
First, there was the customary speech about relaxation, the relaxing imagery of the sea, cliffs, stairs, etc. And then, a strange thing happened. As I fell in a trans, actually as I was going down in Alfa, I slipped out from under the control of the hypnotherapist. A strange energy was sucking me towards it like a vacuum. I felt a force much more powerful than anything I have experienced before. I found myself surrounded by a gray wall, which resembled a long tunnel. The tunnel seemed to narrow toward the end but I couldn't go through it despite the tremendous force that was sucking me in.
The doctor who hypnotized me recalled that my body froze at a 45-degree angle, and my hands grasped at something invisible to the therapist. My face was painfully contorted, and my hair on my head stood up, almost as if the wind was blowing it. This energy that surrounded me was so powerful that the doctor stepped back from me. This was repeated three times in a row. Every time she took me down to alpha, this tremendous force surrounded me, as if it were trying to fly me away. When I felt the energy dissipating, I asked her to take me down even deeper. I felt this high energy surrounding me like it wanted to fly me away. As soon as I had the feeling that the energy was weakening, though, I kept asking to be taken deeper and deeper. The doctor took me deeper and deeper and after the last one when 1 felt that "my magnetic field" dissipated, I came to.
While I was under hypnosis, the doctor tried to ask me questions. I called the "big eyed" ones my friends.
I saw vaguely the face of one of them and an embryo also, but they didn't give any explanation. They merely gave me a deadline of three months to finish this book.
Well, that was my experience under hypnosis. Now, whoever wants to laugh at me, may, that is if one is in the mood for it.
I know that paranormal happenings are increasingly more common, and there are less and less people who laugh anymore. Most try to find answers to the why, but despite the hype about it, there are still many misguided people on this wonderfully beautiful and interesting "Blue Planet, which is full of secrets."
How many times people still laugh sarcastically if the issue of the UFOs or parapsychology comes up. In most cases, people who have had and have these type of experiences are laughed at. Unfortunately, I was also the victim and target of such ridicule. So, those people laugh- When somehow; however, paranormal events happen to them too, they get scared and they don't want to talk about it, lest they themselves become the object of ridicule.
The "truth"- whether one believes it or not—is more interesting than anything else. The science fiction literature
doesn't have an idea, which could not be outdone by "reality". There is no such sci-fi imaginary phenomena which could rival with the interesting and challenging "reality".
This is one of the reasons why I release my diary. Not only are the stories I will tell you beautiful in their own sense, but hopefully, they will also counterbalance the many brainwashing stories appearing in the media regarding UFOs and the paranormal.
Reality, seasoned with a little bit of sci-fi literature, would perhaps be helpful in this rapidly changing world.
I am not about to bore you with my own criticism of movies, not even children's movies. While I feel that today's big screen brings to life mostly "creations" and brutality in their "super productions". Murder after murder, and X-rated materials are pouring out through the small and big screen. Hollywood's "beast" human being" has been elevated on the pedestal glorifying gore and blood. Not to mention the misrepresented outer space creatures who fell in the vertigo of these "super productions". I submit that there is a myriad of talented and interesting productions hitting the big screen as well. I feel, however, that generally speaking they lack the ability to educate the masses about the "good" and instead
they glorify violence and brutality. Our society, already plagued by violence, our jails already packed with convicts, could benefit from movies that teach the "good", and not the "bad."
What is your opinion for example about the children's programs, which, under the disguise of fairytales, are selling some concentrated idioticism? Certainly, there are a few exemptions too.
If one wants to teach reverence of the "good", one has to do it by educating with good examples. By educating with good, does not necessarily mean that the children are forbidden to find out about reality. They need to have realistic pictures about the world around them. The children, from the very early ages, have to know the difference between good and bad.
In my childhood, my fairytales were about dragons, princes and beautiful princesses. There were also wicked witches in my tales, made almost of flesh and blood. But these dragons and witches were all evincible, and eventually conquered. The arsenal at the hero's disposition in those fairytales included wittiness, courage, truth and love. An arsenal in stark contrast to today's computerized arsenal, where entire countries can disappear at the touch of a button.
What are those movies teaching us? To be courageous? To be compassionate? They are not teaching one anything, but to follow the path of self-serving destruction. Today's hero is soulless and so is the conquered enemy. This a war is between dead and estranged souls.
What kind of people will become of these children growing up watching these kind of movies? They will be soulless people, because even if there is any faint shimmering light of the soul left, it will be covered with a thick layer of dirt, underneath which the soul eventually disappears completely.
Souls in the trap of matter and time...Can we sink any further and deeper or have we already reached the nadir? If there would be an energy, a power, which could elevate us from this bottom, then it could do it, because we are so much at the bottom that there is no other way, but up. This ascent would be the duty of the "Aquarius" age man.
As I walk on the streets, I encounter soulless and empty faces everywhere. Of course, lam generalizing now.
We are so deeply submerged in this matter, in this dense, suffocating, material world that presents seemingly no escape, that even our thoughts have become rigid and heavy,
lacking even a speck of hope of the possibility to rise again. A thick bark covers the human soul.
Our "real" world, however could be different. In the "real" world there is light and love. We should start to search for this light and to learn what love is, in the real sense of the word. This, in my opinion is our homework, should be our goal.
Love is an important, if not the most essential cosmic law. We have forgotten it as we have forgotten slowly how to laugh from our hearts, how to really live.
Are we at the height of human evolution? Is this the apex? The Greeks, in the perspective of 2000 years still seem to be more evolved than today's man, in terms of spirituality at least. Beauty was elevated on their pedestal, while today, on the threshold of the 20th century, disharmonious, the violent, the bad is exemplified.
Even Nostradamus remarked: " Woe to that society that beautifies the ugly and the disfigured, because in this society the beautiful soon becomes incomprehensible and ostracized. "
We are surrounded with a constant destruction of illusions. In one of the newest UFO movies, whose title I will not mention, the human spirit is totally submerged in the
matter. It is full of negative thoughts and twisted actions, not to mention the dialogues. Yet what it could have illustrated, contact with the outer space would have been so meaningful.
In a certain way, I am a contact too—without any world-saving thoughts, or messages, or healing powers. Through me "they" only communicate simple pictures, presented as brilliant gifts, at least I believe that they are meant as presents. I could not give you answers to the questions: "What are these "gifts," these interesting pictures, and why do they send it to me? Perhaps I have something in my aura, or my infinite hunger for love had attracted "them" to me. I could not even define these creatures or these phenomena. I can only describe them, as I will in this book. If only I would know who they are. They seem to look like the creatures, the visitors described by others, and the Sirius was also mentioned once.
I am not hallucinating based on what I have read, and neither did I call them up from the nothing. They came to me.
First were the chain of events that awoke my curiosity
which motivated me search for them like a wanderer in a fairy tale. I started
to read the esoteric literature, anything possible about the UFOs, and
I have found many similarities between what the events that happened to
me and my subsequent
readings.
Despite, or perhaps because of these paranormal events, I try to integrated myself in the "here and now", but it is not always easy. It seems that I am in some ways different. In one of my dreams I told to myself that I serve the light, more exactly, that I am the servant of Light. I had the courage to write it down, despite the fact that some people might smile at this declaration. Later, reading the articles written by Bela Balogh in (White Eagle Lodge) I understood the real meaning of being the servant of Light.
To return to "my friends", they exist, regardless of what anybody says. Hallucinations don't leave physical marks on a human body, they can not be photographed and they don't have shadows. The paranormal events I have experienced exhibited all of the above.
While I know nothing about their biology, and I can describe
them with difficulty, since they leave so little imprinted in my memory,
I feel that they are my friends. Only friends can give you such wonderful
gifts like the ones I received from them. Vision of these wonderful things—
enemies are not able to give such gifts.
As a person who always looks for the truth, I continuously
searched for scientific explanations for the paranormal events that have
followed me throughout these years. When I couldn't find any explanation,
I finally gave credit to my visions, and accepted without explanations
that what I have been experiencing are real. As you can see I approached
this subject very skeptically like one who can not and doesn't want to
see what is very "obvious". Like those who are too proud to accept the
things, which are too obvious.
People! Here is your wake up call! We are not alone. Why do we have to raise our hands ready to slap when somebody is approaching to caress us? Why is that savage defense reaction, when we only have to fear ourselves? We are a warrior type, a very aggressive one who is able to manufacture destructive weapons. We are so afraid of some strangers, that we are ready to negate their existence. Just think about, if they had come in any other manner, they could have colonized the Earth a long time ago with the technology and knowledge they have. So, then why is that enormous negation?
In order to have a better understanding of this matter and to have some answers to the many "why's," 1 will give you a short introduction to the multiplicity of dimensions, to the dimension gates, and because everything is connected, to karma and reincarnation as well. I do not intend to write another treaties about the subject because that was done before me in a much detail by others. Here 1 only want to summarize the "essence" for those people who never heard about these kind of phenomena.
In the light of cosmic laws it is easier to understand reality. In the mirror of reality everything becomes more clear and more understandable.
My guide was a big shiny globe. These globes appeared in my bedroom always at a precise time. I was looking for an answer to their appearance, to who are they and why are they "here and now?" It seemed as if they were guiding me to the world of esoteric books, not to speak about the literature regarding UFOs.
Therefore, before I begin my diary I would like to invite the reader to join me in a brief explanation of the cosmic laws and different dimensions. While I have read numerous books on these topics, the most interesting and most understandable explanations to these questions I have found in the articles of Bela Balogh (White Eagle lodge) and in the books of Zsuzsanna Bistey and Peter Muller. Though they weren't the people who started me on my discovery way, I have learned from them the most. If anybody becomes interested enough and curious enough, I strongly recommend the books of the above mentioned authors. They are the teachers, I am only a student.